We had both transgressed. I immediately apologized — with no response from her for months. In order to move myself out of the emotional victim position and begin to heal my heart and soul, I gave her grace — a concept I first heard about on a Ted Radio presentation by Anna Deavere Smith, from her interview with a Rawanda woman who survived the genocide.
“I can’t really forgive those who violated my family and me. I can give them grace. To forgive someone, they have to ask me for forgiveness, and I will give it. However, when they are oblivious to my hurt, I can’t forgive them, but I can give them grace. I can release them, not hold onto it (pain) in my heart.”
So powerful, so freeing, so right.
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Boundaries.”
Though this is the last of my blog entries exploring Boundaries – Under the Skin of Life, my story continues — as does my growth. Thanks to those who have stayed with me this week and especially those who have read the entries. I hope you have found some pearls to keep and share.
Although I’m a little late weighing in, I followed this series with interest because I’ve had a similar experience. After what I thought was a mutual forgiveness and reconciliation, the other person once again cut me off, then, several months later asked AGAIN for a reconciliation. I never responded and never intend to. My life is lighter and easier without the weight of a friendship that was growing increasingly high-maintenance (for me) and fragile (her). It’s a strange situation–I think the only time in my life I’ve had such a dramatic end to a friendship.
Thanks so much for following this one, and for your insights. I’m still working on my next steps — and I hope she is working on hers. As they say, it takes two to tango! Glad you found a peaceful resolution for yourself.