~ Wordless Wednesday + WPC – Happy Place 3 ~

Posted on October 14, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

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In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Happy Place.”

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~ Tuesday Two by Two + WPC- Happy Place 2 ~

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

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Yesterday, rain, mist, clouds and fog mixed to create this monochrome palette hiding the contours of Saturna Island, which stretches into the waters of the western horizon behind Waldron Island.

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This morning, the clouds are breaking, mist and fog have lifted, and sunlight bathes Saturna, offering my favorite kind of pairing for two by two Tuesday.

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~ Monochrome Monday + Weekly Photo Challenge ~ Happy Place ~

Posted on October 12, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

Beach Haven, Orcas Island, WA — USA

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10/12/15 7:30 a.m.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Happy Place.”

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~ Friday Flyers ~

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

Getting away to sleep, think, dream, listen, talk, write, read, take photos and draw for a week or so. When I do post, it will be live from Cabin #1, Beach Haven, Orcas Island, WA – USA

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~ Giving Grace ~ Under the Skin of Life ~ WPC Boundaries – 7 ~

Posted on October 8, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

IMG_1123.JPGWe had both transgressed. I immediately apologized — with no response from her for months. In order to move myself out of the emotional victim position and begin to heal my heart and soul, I gave her grace — a concept I first heard about on a Ted Radio presentation by Anna Deavere Smith, from her interview with a Rawanda woman who survived the genocide.

“I can’t really forgive those who violated my family and me. I can give them grace. To forgive someone, they have to ask me for forgiveness, and I will give it. However, when they are oblivious to my hurt, I can’t forgive them, but I can give them grace. I can release them, not hold onto it (pain) in my heart.”

So powerful, so freeing, so right.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Boundaries.”

Though this is the last of my blog entries exploring Boundaries – Under the Skin of Life, my story continues — as does my growth. Thanks to those who have stayed with me this week and especially those who have read the entries. I hope you have found some pearls to keep and share.

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~ Breakthrough ~ Under the Skin of Life ~ WPC Boundaries – 5 ~

Posted on October 7, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

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Finding and accepting the crux of the problem was a breakthrough. It was/is my behavior that I must modify. Setting boundaries for myself — and sticking to them — is the solution to this part. Healing my hurt was the next task and it too required deep exploration of my emotional, mental and spiritual being.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Boundaries.”

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~ Under the Skin of Life ~ Weekly Photo Challenge ~ Boundaries 4 ~

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

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The victim triangle (aka drama triangle) helped me come to terms with what had happened. In my desire to help (rescue) her, I hooked myself into her drama. While I started out as the rescuer, her swift natural reaction was to punish (persecute) me. Suddenly, I was the victim — which is the tragedy of becoming hooked into this dysfunctional dynamic. *“No mat­ter where we may start out on the tri­an­gle, vic­tim is where we end up….” (Lynn Forest)

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When I was able to see and accept my part in our dysfunctional relationship, I could begin to extract myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually. A hard climb, but worth it. Simply stated, the more I resist the impulse to rescue others, the stronger they become and the more healthy our relationship will be.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Boundaries.”

I highly recommend this article to those who want to learn more about the victim triangle: * http://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/

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~ Under the Skin of Life ~ Weekly Photo Challenge ~ Boundaries – 3 ~

Posted on October 5, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

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I was like a ripe old artichoke, with outer leaves showing the effects of age and experience  — defense systems and protective devices intact.  Yet, when pierced to the core with words and actions, the wound was painful — and invisible. In order to heal, I needed to peel away the leaves around the wound, tend to the damage, and learn about myself from the experience.

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As I stripped off each layer, my emotions continued to swirl, from shock and anger to a deep sadness. I knew I had transgressed her boundaries, and must take full responsibility for it — no excuses, no justification — just accept my flaw.

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That required identifying and owning the flaw in myself, and answering honestly the hardest question: When I could have remained out of it, said and done nothing, why did I step in? What characteristic in me prompted my behavior? 

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 To find the answer, I had to dig deep.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Boundaries.”

 

 

 

 

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~ Under the Skin of Life ~ Weekly Photo Challenge ~ Boundaries 2 ~

Posted on October 4, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

Three ways culture, society and family keep us ‘in line’ are betrayal, shame and abandonment (Mario Martinez).  After I crossed her personal boundaries, she shamed me, then abandoned me for several months. I don’t know if she also denounced me.

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At the time, I felt as though she had discarded me — like clothing that no longer fit her needs — tossed onto the rag heap, like so many other imperfect people.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Boundaries.”

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~ Under the Skin of Life ~ Weekly Photo Challenge ~ Boundaries ~

Posted on October 3, 2015 by Lindy Le Coq

This week’s photo challenge invites us to explore the concept of Boundaries. In the past year I violated the personal boundaries of someone I love very much. Her reaction to my mistake turned into an equally egregious transgression of my boundaries. In order to restore balance in my life, I reevaluated and redefined my own boundaries — all invisible on the surface — but there nonetheless.

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Counselors and therapists often use metaphors to describe mental, emotional and spiritual concepts that are easier to understand using a physical or symbolic representation. Peeling off layers of an onion, for example, is often used to explain the process of self-discovery required to find inner strength and peace.

In my posts this week I will explore the topic of emotional boundaries.  Since it is an invisible periphery, the images used are meant to provide a metaphorical glimpse under the surface of being.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Boundaries.”

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